“Fits Five Comfortably”

Said my backyard hot tub AND the gym I worked out in at New York City.

It’s true…I believe you can fit just as many people in my hot tub at home as you could have at the gym I was working out in during my trip to New York City. Manhattan to be exact. There was an incident where I was on the treadmill and could not get off because there were two other adults stretching out on their yoga mats. (they were sharing a mat due to limited space). If I got off I would have had to step up and over their heads. I was sweaty and didn’t feel confident in my posterior or my balance.

So I waited…and waited…and waited…and walked…and walked… and walked. In any other city this would not be a problem but in NYC they had to put the stretching area right behind the treadmills. Either there or NOWHERE. I guess I needed the extra time on the treadmill anyway.

The next “run in” I had was when I needed to get a drink of water, you know, because I was forced to walk more than a mile. There was a little water cooler there. Unfortunately, the towel storage was located on top of the water cooler jug. The thing is that one of the other exercisers happened to be there to grab a towel to dry off his sweat. I had to wait for him to do his business so that I could grab a drink from this multi-purposed jug/towel rack. Not really a big deal but a small deal for sure.

It is not a secret that space is limited in the “Big Apple” and I am certainly not the first to write about it. However, I feel I need to vent a bit here. The thing is we spent a small fortune on Broadway tickets and I got hurt in the theater. Like, I totally left there in physical pain and I was sweating.  I don’t consider myself a completely large woman…I mean I am slightly tall. I am 5’10 with an average frame. I think that I should be able to sit comfortably in a theater seat, Yeah, I guess that is the case anywhere but in NYC.

Here’s how the Broadway show hurt:

My knees were knocking the woman’s head in front of me and the person behind me knees were knocking my head and so on and so on. Everyone left with a concussion. Ending many football careers.

On top of that the person sitting next to me was hovering over onto my chair and I was doing the same to the person next to me and so on and so on. Resulting in artificial perceptions of attraction. Ending many marriages.

We had to keep our coats on because where else would it fit? As a result many people got all sweated up. Resulting in dehydration. Ending many lives.

Our purses had to sit on our lap in a matter that made us all look like paranoid old bag ladies. There was no space on the floor in front of us to put it down. Resulting in misconceived prejudices. Ending many political careers.

Everyones feet were too big to face forward in front of their seats resulting in us kicking the seat in front of us and the person behind us kicking our seat and so on and so on. Resulting in many fist fights. Ending many clean records.

Forget all of the natural bodily functions that we had the pleasure of witnessing with our five senses. Resulting in many upset stomachs. Ending many couture outfits.

Disclaimer: Size matters people. It just does.

Flying Solo…My Freedom from Anxiety

Flying Solo…might seem normal to many, however, I am completely bombarded with anxiety with the idea of it . Which is why I am making it a point to smash it right in the face. Here, right now, today, as I board the plane and head for New York City, all by myself. I am at war…with myself, with my thoughts, with my anxiety.

You see, I was diagnosed with having Panic Disorder when I was 20 years old making the ordinary seem extraordinary. Since I am a pleasantly stubborn person I have been making it a point to go war with the shithead, (AKA my anxiety) ever since.

As soon as I was given the diagnosis the war began. I do it by setting up battles with the shithead. At first the battles ended with seemingly small feats. For example, battle number 1 was to simply leave the house. Now adays I am on to bigger battles, i.e. the one I am fighting today which I am calling “Flying Solo”. There have been many other battles in between such as riding in a car as a passenger, hopping on the subway, spending the night away from home, going to the movies, etc. All of these actions are just a normal activity for many of you, however they are great successes for me.
At first the battles would frequently turn into long fights. Many times I lost. The losses were temporary due to to the fact that I have not and will not give up.

The battles that I have conquered are ones that I no longer have to think about. Once they are conquered they become just a normal activity for me…they are no longer extraordinary. Thankfully.

It is the “Flying Solo” battles that I am fighting currently. They are bigger battles with less fighting and the rewards are priceless. I am fighting for my freedom. Freedom from the shithead that has been trying to stand in my way of living peacefully.

There have been and will continue to be times that I try to trick myself into surrendering, and when this happens I make myself remember “the consequences” of surrendering.

“The consequence” looks, feels, and sounds like this:
Me, afraid.
Me, a prisoner…a prisoner of my home, my comfort, my ordinariness.
Me, lonely and depressed.
Me, always looking for a crutch.
Me, dreadful.
Me, dragging my loved ones down with me.
I REFUSE TO SUFFER “the consequences” so I will fight. I will fight for my freedom.

*Everyone has something.*

Honorable Mention: Eating healthy is my one of my biggest allies. Shout out to you, Food!

Day Tripping and Big Apple Eating…

I am still “Flying Solo” today. Today I am exploring the greatest and grandest city in the United States of America.
Currently, I am having a cup of coffee in Korea-town. So far today, I hit the gym, ate a glorious lunch and drank a subtlety flavorful glass of white wine at a little spot called, “The Herald”. Then I did a little New York shopping.
Even though I have been really enjoying myself, the war is still on. About 5 minutes ago my phone crashed. I have my ipad but unfortunately, this city does not have free wi-fi. Well, at least I can not find it. What this means is I am wandering around without a safety net. I will happily defeat this battle.