Hey! Aren’t You the Wrong Color for That?!

I shit you not…This is what someone shouted out to me as I was digging a hole.

It was a hot August afternoon, I was deep in dirt and exhausted from working on my front-yard landscaping project. Sweat pouring off my face, dirt scattered all over my body and my muscles aching. It was worth it, because my project was coming together and it was looking great. As I was reflecting on my hard-work, a car stops in front of my house…It was someone I kind of knew…This person shouts out, “HEY, AREN”T YOU THE WRONG COLOR FOR THAT!?” I immediately replied, “excuse me?!” (My thought was, “wait, is this person implying that my landscaping is the wrong color? Must be, because there is no way in hell this person said what I think I heard.”)

“Shouldn’t your husband be out here doing that?!”

For those of you that do not know, my husband is Mexican – American.

Being white has brought on to me the burden of other white racists harassing me with their racist beliefs. The problem with being white is that other white people think all white people are racist just like them.

When people say that racism does not exist anymore or that affirmative action is no longer necessary, I automatically think about all the white people that openly discuss their racist views around me…they think they are in a “safe zone” because I am white and since I am white I must agree with them. That is how ego-centered these people are.

Was the person in the car that afternoon trying to be funny? or was this an attempt at sympathy for my exhaustion? Whatever the reason, it sucked! I stopped feeling proud of my work. I began to feel sad for my family. I put my shovel away, went inside, sat down on my couch (not even considering the dirt and sweat) and thought about what was said and how hurt I was. Why did this one persons remark affect me so much? The thing is, this isn’t the only person to say things like this. As I was reflecting on that couch, I began to get mad at myself for not telling this person and all of the people, how mean they sounded. I had a million responses as I sat there and did not get a chance to say any of them.

I didn’t get to say anything that day, or the other days when other people have said similar things around me, but now I have a blog! I have had over 1100 views on my blog in less than a week! (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) So, I am going to use this opportunity to express myself to all the white racists that think I am just like them…

Dear White Racists,

Please stop. I am not like you. Not all white people are like you. You are offensive and sound like an ignorant, un-educated idiot. When you tell me, “well, you know what I mean?” I immediately think, “yes! you are racist and you don’t even know it!” Here is the deal, to the obviously ignorant and insensitive, my husband is Mexican and even more importantly, my kids are Mexican. When you speak to me negatively about the Hispanic culture or any people of color, you are speaking about my family. Quite frankly, it is highly offensive and it makes me sad! Please stop! I am judging you and I am talking about you. I am telling people about how bad you suck. Consider this your warning. Next time I will reveal names.

Thank you.

Disclaimer: Being overly politically correct is boring and offensive in of itself. It is ok to see color and cultural differences. They exist! Let’s just make sure to do it out of love.

I Never Had Boobs, But I Always Had A Date

Dear Small-Breasted Women,

I am a 38-year-old woman who has worn a size 32A cup since puberty. For those of you who do not know this is the absolute smallest bra size available.

Over recent years, I began to notice that small breasted woman are practically an endangered species. I remember when I was younger I had a group of girls that had the same small breasts as me. We would joke around about our “flat-chests”. Now, when I think about those same girls I recall that most of them have altered themselves…I am one of the last woman I know with the small chest I was born with. It’s not only the girls I grew up with, it is also the moms at the public pool, the young woman at the bar, the models in magazines, and the celebrities I see on television. Hardly no one I see has small breasts anymore. I have come to the realization that practically every woman I know has bigger boobs than me! I beg to ask, why?

My small breasts have never stopped me from anything, for example:

Everyone I have met thus far has made excellent eye-contact with me.
My two children had plenty of milk when nursing from my little boobs.
I can look great in a dress.
I can wear a bikini.
I am able to hit the gym or the pavement, or the yoga mat in ease.
I have always been able to find and fit into great clothes.
I can buy cheap bras.
I am married to a sexy and successful and kind man.
Come to think of it…I have ALWAYS had a date…a great date even.
Most importantly, my small breasts have given me great material for jokes.

After thinking about my life thus far with my small boobs, I became even more confused…What has motivated so many woman to have their breasts enlarged? I mean, they went to the doctor and elected to have their body mutilated, and stuffed with foreign objects. They spent a ton of money and choose to endure excruciating pain to have bigger boobs…not to mention those things can not be comfortable! My small A cup’s have worked just fine my whole life…Maybe I don’t know what I am missing?

This letter is my attempt to let you all know that my small breast size has had little to no impact on my life nor will it on yours. I am here to let all the woman contemplating this procedure know that with the right attitude and a nice personality you will too always have a date. I am reassuring you of this because I can not think of another reason why woman would think bigger boobs are the ideal unless they are considering what the opposite sex would prefer. If that is the case, please note God gave us small-chested woman, “the ass-man”.

Disclaimer: I am not judging the woman who have had this procedure. It is my goal to empower those with small-breasts. Also, I am aware that there are many cases when plastic surgery is necessary.